dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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