Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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