I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
