the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
