Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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