It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
