I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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