I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
