glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
