there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
