im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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