no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize