Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
