your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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