4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize