I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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