Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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