i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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