i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
