I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
