Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
