dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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