I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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