no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
