Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
did you just send me my own nude
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
