There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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