I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
