Cold hands, warm shart.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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