I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize