i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
