No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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