Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Bang-toberfest begins!!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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