I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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