Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
third nipple confirmed
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
