whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
