We won't sleep together?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
