She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
