Dual....:-)
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
