she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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