Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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