I wish i was in the wii world.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
