hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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