names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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