You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
