I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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