My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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