I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
