i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
