What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
