Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
