I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
