this just has baby written all over it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
