Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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