So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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