What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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