omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
