...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
