The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
