dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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