And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
