Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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