Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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