It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize