and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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