she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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