I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
