She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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