Porn is love you can see.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
