Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
