so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
