I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
