real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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