A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
