The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
