my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
