Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize