you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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