how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
